It has become apparent that many people have this irrational obsession with wanting to be loved by their parents and to a point the reciprocal of being loved by one’s children. This is however irrational and the moment of realization happened when I discovered the truth—we’re all just people. While many parents and offspring do develop a familial bond that goes beyond the natural blood and DNA lines, it is not necessary nor is it expected that this bond should grow beyond just that. I can only speak from experience and inference.
I’ve had the pleasure to develop over a 24-year period (at the time of this writing) a relation of friendship with my mother. Beyond the fact that she carried me in her womb for nine months and proceeded to nurture me as a child and developing human, we have developed a relationship that transcends normal familial ties. She is my friend, and I love her for that reason. I ask most of my friends if they can have this kind of relationship with their mother or father, and they cringe at the topics I have with my mother. Although my mother and I are these great friends, there is a disparity with the relationship I have with my father. For the longest time I could remember my father being thrown out of the house, living with us, then not, back together, and finally out again. This on-again/off-again relationship begins to wear on the family, increasing disputes and maximizing the chance of misunderstanding. For many years I had a negative feeling about my father and felt that he should have been a better father. He should have been there more often, he should have contributed more, he should have done this, or he should have done that. It wasn’t until my enlightenment that I could slough these negative feelings of abandonment and entitlement. It was then that I realized that my father is a person like any other. He has feelings, wants, dislikes, friends, emotions, baggage, and thoughts like any other human being. The fact that he was not the person whom I wanted him to be when I was growing up is irrelevant. I am who I am now only due to the millions of circumstances and events that led to this moment. Can we all be realized to this effect? Is this sensation of enlightenment real? I believe it is, for it is at this time, which I see the world the clearest. It is at this moment that I feel happiness and contentedness with the universe.